Movies Watched -- The Laughing Policeman (1973)

109 minute running time but feels longer … some dummy on YouTube said this was an “unknown classic” from the 1970s so I watched it, but I can tell you why it’s unknown: it’s terrible. The story is no good, makes no sense, is disjointed, it’s just garbage, like a bad TV show … Walter Matthau just chews gum the entire movie like he’s a cow chewing its cud. (I loved Walter Matthau in The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 (1974), which is a good movie.)

Bruce Dern adds some needed energy, but the story is so bad it doesn’t make a difference. Scenes from San Francisco gay bars were interesting … Bruce Dern tells a transvestite, “save my seat, fellow,” which was worth a laugh. America was dead-near rock bottom in 1973 and you can see it in this movie.

Here’s a nutter website that links to all the movie locations in San Francisco.

(When I was young, I read all the Per Wahlöö and Maj Sjöwall books and enjoyed them… they’re good.)

Being a fruit is no crime these days.

Movies Watched -- Crossing Delancey (1988)

93 minute running time, so the perfect length … Amy Irving and her cheekbones and 80s hair, channeling Barbara Hershey from Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) … David Pierce, Fraser’s gay little brother, actually name-checks Annie Hall in one scene … New York City looks as diverse and dirty as ever in the late 1980s … there’s a great scene where an old woman breaks into song with “Some Enchanted Evening” (Hammerstein) in a deli and the customers just sort of take it in stride and enjoy it (though Amy herself is deeply affected by it: “Once you have found him, never let him go.”)

This is a very Jewish movie (directed by Joan Micklin Silver, written by Susan Sandler), though Amy Irving was raised Christian Scientist and Peter Riegert comes from a non-observant Jewish family. It’s also clear that Silver loves the city.

There are cute bits, funny bits, some good writing, but ultimately this movie reflects the confused state of feminism by the late 80s… 33-year-old Amy is single and has a job (at a bookstore, of course) and occasional casual sex with a tall, bearded, married man, but she looks longingly at a baby boy at a bris and [spoilers] ultimately accepts the matchmaking arrangement of her Bubbie with a pickle man and his pickle. What are we supposed to make of this?

It’s a deeply traditional, conventional message in the end. It wasn’t terrible, but I can’t recommend it.

Fools give you reasons, wise men never try

Movies Watched -- Days of Being Wild (1991)

In Cantonese / Shanghainese / Mandarin … 94 minute running time so the perfect length. One of Wong Kar-wai’s earliest movies, I think. The first half is great, the second half is weaker, and the ending is really disconnected / mysterious, which is a shame because it almost makes it not a green-go.

Anyway, I love the way Wong Kar-wai frames shots … he has a unique approach, not conventional, and it makes his movies interesting, even if the story is sort of weak or dumb. He creates a mood that is really wonderful, esp. around romance-that-could-have-happened-but-doesn’t. (In this movie, the would-be romance happens between Maggie Cheung and the local beat cop, played by a gorgeous Andy Lau. All the Chinese men are beautiful in Wong Kar-wai movies, which is another reason he has a huge number of homosexual fans.)

Leslie Cheung plays a pretty-boy bastard playboy who beds both the always graceful Maggie Cheung and, later, a bratty, immature Carina Lau. They are both crushed when he dumps them.

The second half story is Leslie’s trip to the Philippines to find his mother who abandoned him as a baby. He improbably meets up with the local HK cop who has since become a sailor. There’s some kung fu. Another story line about Leslie’s friend falling for Carina Lau. It’s weaker.

Green-go if you are a Wong Kar-wai completist or if you just want to watch the first half of the movie.

Today is... April 16, 1960, one minute before 3 pm. You are with me. Because of you, I'll remember that one minute from now on.

Movies Watched -- The Bridge (2006)

94 minute running time so the perfect length. This was a disturbing documentary, and I sort of regret watching it. The filmmaker set up long-distance cameras trained on the Golden Gate Bridge and captured at least half a dozen jumpers from the bridge. All of those suicides are played back as they happened in real-time. He also captured film of several people who attempted to jump, but were talked off or pulled to safety. 24 people killed themselves by jumping off the bridge in 2004.

I guess after a jump (or attempted jump) he would race to the scene and find people who had witnessed it and get their names and interview them later. The movie was built around several particular jumpers whose backstory could be told in more detail by interviewing family and friends (all of the jumpers suffered from mental illness).

He also interviewed one young man who actually survived jumping off the bridge … apparently a seal kept him afloat until he could be rescued, he had a broken back of course.

Anyway, it was all pretty disturbing and I wondered about the ethics of the filmmaker. Seems sort of exploitative to me, but at the same time, I get why he made it. (I see others had the same concern.) This is NOT a movie for the faint of heart — the footage of people jumping is something you will never forget, so be warned. Thanks to John Farr for the recommendation.

(Ooooph, there’s even more damning stuff revealed in this piece: “Steel hid his intentions from both the families of the deceased and bridge authorities.  Rather than be forthcoming about the real intentions of his undertaking, he told the Golden Gate National Recreation Area that he hoped to “capture the powerful, spectacular intersection of monument and nature that takes place everyday at the Golden Gate Bridge.”  More despicable was his deception of the victims’ families.  While interviewing, he never made it known that he had footage of their loved ones jumping to their doom.”)

Movies Watched -- The Cooler (2003)

101 minute running time … I generally like gambling movies since I gamble for a living… this one starred William Macy, who always plays a sad sack guy … he works at a casino as a “cooler,” which is someone whose luck is so bad that he can turn other people’s luck off just by being near them (sort of a neat idea).

A pretty bar maid improbably falls for him (later revealed that she was paid to do so) … she is played by Maria Bello, who sort of looks like Naomi Watts or Tea Leoni … she is in her mid thirties in this movie, so past her prime, but her bod is still in good shape … looks like she has bad skin, which they couldn’t really cover up, but she’s attractive for sure.

Macy’s estranged son and “pregnant” daughter-in-law show up and things get a little complicated. Macy is close to paying off a gambling debt to his old “friend” and casino boss, so the cocktail waitress was hired to keep him around. The story isn’t very good and this was a low-budget movie for sure, but it isn’t terrible terrible, just not good enough to recommend to anyone.

Alec Baldwin plays the f-bomb dropping casino boss. Baldwin always good with his psycho blue-eyed look. A young-looking Ron Livingston is in it… you may know him as Jack Berger in Sex and the City.

An unusual, low-budget movie, not terrible but also not worth recommending either. Thanks to Barry in my Discord for the reco. Yellow Rating.

Sit. Relax. I promise you, at least one of us has done this before.

Movies Watched -- Tony Takitani (2004)

In Japanese. 79 minute running time, but could have been half as long. Terrible recommendation from John Farr, don’t see this. Weird Japanese thing, not interesting, no point… oh, it’s a Murakami story, no wonder … might work better in print, but dull and pointless as a film … and the frigging piano score, argh. “A tale of heartache and loss,” no, no, no, Farr… just weird Japanese stuff you can miss. You know it’s bad when it’s only 79 minutes long and you still fast forward. Red Rating.

Dull, like your illustrations

Movies Watched -- Loveless (2017)

In Russian. 127 minute running time so at least 20 to 30 minutes too long … another grim movie from Russia … 12-year-old kid runs away from home and his rotten parents, in the midst of a nasty divorce, don’t even notice for two days. (He overhears one of their fights where neither parent expresses any interest in taking him after the split — brutal.) The police are of little help, but there is a volunteer search and rescue group who get involved. Maybe that’s a hopeful thing?

I guess it’s some sort of metaphor for modern Russia, which is apparently so selfish and soulless that it doesn’t even care about its “children” anymore, something like that. The authorities (parents) are “at war” with one another and the people (the children) are the only victims. This was too long and didn’t have any redeeming qualities, it’s just an indictment, and hasn’t Russia always been this way?

SPOILERS: the kid is never found and life moves on. The parents are still selfish and nasty, even years later. Nothing changes except Alexey is still missing but not missed. Vanished and forgotten.

Ah, this was made by the same guy who made Elena, which I loved! That was a much more successful indictment of modern Russia in my mind. Skip Loveless and see Elena.

Even now, when I look at him or think about him, like right now, it seems like I have made some unforgivable mistake.

Have you thought?

- About what?

- What do you mean? You're the mother.

- I'm so tired of you...

- He really needs a mother.

- At this age he needs a father more.

Movies Watched -- The Nightingale (2018)

136 minute running time so way too long … this was like an Australian version of The Revenant, but this was written and directed by a woman. It’s set in 1825 Tasmania, I guess… the savagery is pretty, er, savage … non-stop raping and murdering and genociding of the local population (aborigines) … it hurts extra hard because the Bad English Lieutenant is a handsome bastard … it’s a revenge story … so brutal that it’s hard to sit through — it’s super raw. This was a John Farr reco. I can’t recommend it myself since it’s too long, repetitive, and a little weak in spots, but it gets a solid yellow rating for sure.

Me and my mate, we're partial to a bit of Irish cunny.

Movies Watched -- Aurora (2011)

In Romanian. 183 minute running time. Yes, you read that right: THREE HOURS LONG. Cristi Puiu made The Death of Mr. Lazarescu, which I thought was brilliant and my favorite foreign language movie from 2005 … but I wasn’t thrilled with Aurora, mainly because it’s THREE HOURS LONG. Stars Puiu himself, and he mostly bumbles around and glares, that’s his great acting technique. He’s interested in how uncaring and indifferent bureaucracies are, esp. East Bloc ones. He’s interested in people who snap. Clearly he’s an interesting guy, but I can’t recommend this. John Farr did though.

Are you winding me up?

Movies Watched -- Saint Maud (2019)

84 minute running time so the perfect length … this was a horror movie … it has the tell-tale ominous music and sound effect cues (annoying) … it’s not dumb horror though, it touches on lots of heavy stuff like religious faith and conversion, terminal illness, sexuality, mortification (self-inflicted pain), and mental health … the lead actress, Morfydd (MOR-vith, Welsh name) Clark, is very talented… she had to be since she carries the whole movie.

This was written and directed by a woman and men don’t fare very well in this … no positive male role models here for sure. The few men who appear are wimps or creeps (incl. G-d, lol). Maud is on her own for sure.

I have a green, yellow, red rating system for movies (go, consider, stop) and this gets a solid yellow rating. It’s not good enough to rate a green, but it’s also not bad enough to get a red. If you like horror (think The Exorcist), you should definitely see it. Thanks to John Farr for the reco.

Dick Brody wasn’t thrilled … his whole review is well-written and right on the money: “… the proximity of piety to fanaticism and fanaticism to madness … The story moves relentlessly ahead, never looking to the side, as if afraid to risk breaking the anticipatory mood of shock and fear … The more significant habits of [the horror] genre are the very ones that get in the way of the drama itself: the creation of effects without causes, the stoking of particular feelings with little practical substance or psychological insight to develop them … The burden and sublimity of faith—of Christian faith—that Maud bears is emblematized rather than explored, asserted rather than experienced.”

My little saviour…