Movies Watched -- Too Late For Tears (1949)

98 minute running time so just under the sacred 100 minute mark. A real film noir with blackmail, a femme fatale, multiple murders, Los Angeles and sleazy Mexico locales (once again, see Touch of Evil and The Hitch-Hiker), double-crossing dames, old wartime buddies, and sex — not graphic sex of course, but a more explicit approach, surprising for a movie made in 1949. My copy from “Alpha Video” was in terrible shape, but apparently there’s a restored version on Blu-ray available now. The movie wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad, and it’s a must-see for noir fans.

You’re quite a gal, Mrs. Palmer

Movies Watched -- Swing Time (1936)

103 minute running time … some great dance scenes, lovely songs by Jerome Kern and Dorothy Fields (The Way You Look Tonight, A Fine Romance, and Never Gonna Dance — the last has the best dance scene, really moving, I shed a tear) … goofy story / comedy in between the musical numbers. I’ve always liked Fred Astaire’s singing. He does one scene in black-face, which will drive the PCs crazy, but those were the bad old days. Certainly a top ten movie from 1936, but I haven’t seen them all. Recommended if you like song and dance.

Ginger suffering from a mild case of nipple-itis

Movies Watched -- The Arbor (2011)

90 minutes, so the perfect length, but I only made it an hour in before quitting because it was just too depressing. Another horror story from a British housing project, just awful stuff … poor, dumb, foul-mouthed, miserable people — why watch them? Some toff down in London published the play, slumming it. Avoid.

I was a vewy pwetty girl, until someone waped me with scissows

Movies Watched -- Touch Of Evil (1958)

95 minute running time but feels much longer. I’d seen this one in the past and forgot about it. Old Orson Welles grumbling and bumbling around… some really neat camerawork, no doubt the man was way ahead of his time. Dumb story though. Mexican lesbian dopers a novelty in 1958. Sleazy California-Mexico border town featured (same as in The Hitch-Hiker). Welles as corrupt cop, Marlene Dietrich as fortune teller… Aiding justice, partner! Wasn’t thrilled with it, though it’s something every movie buff oohs and aahs over, but it’s just not that well put together, the story is no good. You can give it a miss.

Janet Leigh (Jamie Lee Curtis’s mom) in repose

Movies Watched -- Widows (2018)

128 minute running time so at least 30 minutes too long. Dumb, dumb story. Just ridiculous. A twist in the middle, but still, just bad. I have a soft spot for Steve McQueen (the director) because he made “Shame,” which I thought was brilliant, but this was just lousy. One good shot as they showed a car driving from the ‘hood in Chicago to a more gentrified part of the city, a short drive, well done, clever, but doesn’t make a movie. Bobby Duvall comes out of a crypt to swear a blue streak… way too much profanity in this movie. And some really graphic violence. Not recommended.

Rex, as usual, gets it right: “I never believed these grieving widows could ever form a workable alliance of lady gangsters.“

Dick Brody also didn’t like it: “These details … fit together with a technically impressive coherence that’s also dramatically ridiculous.“

A beautiful Latina, black, and Polish woman walk into a sauna….

Movies Watched -- The Hitch-Hiker (1953)

70 minutes, so on the shorter side, nothing wrong with that. Rare 1950s movie directed by a woman … story of a psychopathic killer who takes two men hostage and into the Mexican desert … some interesting dialogue about the guys being soft and not being able to escape because they cared about each other … one truly scary scene where the bad guy forces one of the men to shoot a tin can out of his buddy’s hand; you could see a psycho doing such a thing. It wasn’t a terrible movie, but I don’t recommend going out of your way to see it.

Bum eye, not bad, eh?

Flavorless Beer Made By Machines

Garrett Oliver of the Brooklyn Brewery … sharp guy:

Uploaded by Edible Films on 2015-02-17.

The Sideshow Is Now the Audience

There’s a new season of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. I watched the episode with Melissa Villaseñor, whom I’ve never heard of, but thought was funny (despite her annoying laugh, and the false hilarity that fills most episodes). Anyway, Jerry said the following, which I loved:

"People in the circus sideshow, huge, fat, tattooed ... these are the people in the audience now. What used to be the sideshow is just regular people now."

Here’s a YouTube thing that Villaseñor did called “Bjork’s Vlog,” which made me fall off my chair laughing:

Bjork does her first vlog and shares with you sensations and things that bring her joy. Also, a new song she created from the sound of a toilet seat cover and shower curtain. ________________________________________________________ Facebook: facebook.com/melissacomedy Twitter: twitter.com/melissavcomedy Tumblr: merrylittleblog.tumblr.com Instagram: melissavcomedy Podcast: soundcloud.com/melissashow www.melissavillasenor.com

Movies Watched -- The Naked Kiss (1964)

91 minute running time, so the perfect length, but this was a weird one, and proved to me that Sam Fuller wasn’t a normal guy, he had some kinks for sure… Written, Directed, and Produced (W.D.P.) By Fuller … a story about a prostitute who tries to make a clean break … I don’t want to spoil anything, well… after the hour mark (beginning of the third act) pedophilia unexpectedly enters the picture, and you just don’t know what to make of this deeply twisted story. Not recommended.

It may be that Sam Fuller only made one great movie (Pickup on South Street), but I’ll keep watching his others just to confirm it.

From an essay: “[Fuller’s movies] appeared to rise whole from a private fever dream.”

Enough to make a bulldog bust its chain.

Movies Watched -- The Long Goodbye (1973)

111 minute running time, but I quit after 30 minutes because this was terrible. Real clinker by Robert Altman, and whoever thought Elliot Gould and his cigarette should play a Jewish Philip Marlowe was insane. Sort of interesting to see post-60s Malibu, but 1973 was pretty much rock-bottom in recent American history. Just awful, give it a miss.

(This guy has his head up his ass.)

Young Ah-nold (uncredited) makes an appearance