No changes this week.
In French. 91 minutes so the right length. Watched on Netflix so I couldn't fast forward, which I probably would have done if I could, but again, I didn't regret that I couldn't. Maybe they're trying to cash in on the Blue is the Warmest Color thing (a movie I *loved*) ... this story is sorta kinda similar. Beautiful girl ("Charlie"), high school senior, meets new girl in school, also attractive though in a more big-mouthed Carly Simon way ... anyway they grow close, maybe Charlie falls in love, then Charlie discovers the girl has a secret, which she keeps, but the girl still goes psycho on her, and Charlie kind of loses her mind too, with a tragic ending. It wasn't bad but for some reason I can only give it a yellow (consider), not a green. Would have benefited from more young flesh being revealed (almost none was), Charlie had a great bod.
Psycho killer, qu'est-ce que c'est
In Italian (and some Calabrian dialect). 103 minutes so the right length, and I was streaming this one (Netflix) so I couldn't fast forward it, which I'm kind of glad about because I *would* have fast forwarded if I could, and then I wouldn't have liked it as much. Not that I liked it a LOT, but it wasn't bad. Mafia story. Mafia family dynamics. The real Mafia, not guys wearing Tommy Bahama shirts. Turns into a Greek tragedy. It's a bummer. But not badly done. Tentatively a yellow and if I can't come up with a top ten after finishing all 80! movies from 2015 on my list, I might upgrade it to green.
Reminder that I've only liked and can recommend the following movies from 2015: Mad Max: Fury Road, The Revenant, The Diary of a Teenage Girl, Shaun the Sheep, and Tangerine.
Luigi and Ms. Fine Buttocks
104 minutes so the right length but I fast forwarded from 20 minutes in. Gandalf as nonagenarian Sherlock Holmes (McKellen and his nose are both "only" 77). Several stories at once, none of them very interesting. In his old age Holmes learns that it's better to tell white lies than simply state the facts. And Watson made most of the stories up out of whole cloth. Maybe a yellow rating, but for most I'd say it's more of a red (avoid).
Not at the peak of his powers
121 minutes, so at least 20 to 30 minutes too long. It's about Brian Wilson, leader of the Beach Boys. Movie is split between the 60s, where some mop-haired kid plays Wilson, and the 80s, where John Cusack plays Wilson. The kid who plays him isn't bad but John Cusack is a disaster. Wesley Morris, in his brilliant review, gets Cusack exactly right when he says, "it’s like watching a movie star have a bad Ambien reaction."
There are a few songs from the Beach Boys I like, probably half a dozen, and I wasn't thrilled with Pet Sounds, I'm not a "fan," I don't know the backstory of Brian Wilson. But it was sort of interesting, both the tortured youth aspect, and the post-heavy drug abuse / mentally ill adult being imprisoned by his shrink (played by Tiny Giamatti in a wig). I should say that I watched it on 2x fast forward, and I fear that I'll do that a lot from now on. If you're a Baby Boomer who loved the Beach Boys, then you should see it, but for everyone else it gets only a yellow (consider) rating from me.
Hearing Voices
104 minutes so about the right length, but still I fast forwarded from 20 minutes in. A tragic story really, deeply sad, I'm not sure why they're playing it for laughs. If you like British eccentrics (homeless lady, gay playwright from the North and his middlebrow mother), and I normally do, you might enjoy it, but I wasn't into this, and will have to go with a red rating, avoid.
Maggie Smith channeling Marty Feldman
124 minutes but it felt like much longer, even at 16x fast forward. It's about an ageing movie star, Juliette Binoche, and her still excellent cleavage, and Kristen Stewart, her personal assistant / chief phone answerer, once again biting her lip, sucking her teeth, or doing something else weird with her mouth in every scene. I went to fast forward after 20 minutes and had to speed it all the way up to 16x, where it still looked like an awful movie. Talk, talk, talk. Endless talk.
Stewart looked good in those nerd glasses (see below). They go for a swim in a lake in the Alps and we get to see the Ancient Binoche Bush but Stewart even keeps her bra on! Binoche gets a really bad, dyke-y haircut towards the end of the movie, washed-up star bad about getting old, ya know. God, this looked terrible. Red rating, avoid.
Kristen Potter and the Cursed Ageing Actress
In Japanese. 103 minutes, so a decent length, but I still fast forwarded from 20 minutes in. Another weird one from some Japanese animation studio. The main girl, Anna, is a foster child with asthma who goes to spend the summer in the countryside with some relatives of her foster mother / guardian. It's unclear to me if Anna is a mixed-race child. This is the thing that interested me, but I couldn't figure it out, it wasn't explored. There are foreigners within, and the fantasy girl, Marnie, is a blonde Cinderella type, but who are these foreigners and why are they in Japan? Is Anna ostracized because she's of mixed race? Is this why she was abandoned? Is this why she feels like an outsider? I couldn't understand it. Red rating, avoid.
Princess and Tom Boy
129 minutes long so at least 30 to 40 minutes too long. I fast forwarded from 20 minutes in. Amy Schumer looks like Miss Piggy, fat and unattractive, and she plays a "slut," but the guys she sleeps with would never sleep with her in real life. It's true that men will have sex with just about anyone, but they'd draw the line at someone who looks like Amy Schumer. It's a Judd Apatow movie so the raunch humor is aimed at teenage boys, once again. It's a weird one though, totally conventional despite the "subversive" humor, in the end it's an old fashioned Jewish girl fantasy in the sense that she ends up with a doctor. Red rating (avoid).
Wes Morris hated the movie; here's his beautiful review.
Fffffffff.....at.
