Movies Watched -- Ant-man

Added on by C. Maoxian.

115 minute running time so definitely 20 minutes too long. Watched 40 minutes before I lost interest and fast-forwarded to the end. Paul Rudd, Alicia Silverstone's older brother in Clueless, plays the reluctant superhero, and I just don't like the guy, he's a wimp. These Marvel movies are all formula, the violence lightened by smartass humor -- squarely aimed at teenagers, I suppose.  For some reason Guardians of the Galaxy worked for me, but this one didn't. At the very end, a sassy hapa beauty appeared (see below) named Anna Akana, who I guess is a YouTube star ... a rare bright moment.  Red rating, avoid. 

Rex hated it too: "Ant-Man is no Spider-Man or Avenger, especially played by Paul Rudd, who looks like a fraternity boy and has neither the charisma nor the cajones to carry an assignment of this magnitude." Indeed.

Good looking enough to wear hideous eyeglasses

Tweets for July 13, 2016

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Tweets for July 12, 2016

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Tweets for July 6, 2016

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Tweets for July 5, 2016

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Movies Watched -- The Revenant

Added on by C. Maoxian.

156 minute running time and I'd normally say that's an hour too long, but this movie gets a pass because it was special. Maybe cut down some dream sequence stuff ... anyway, Leo is a guide for trappers deep in Injun territory (he speaks Pawnee) back in 1823 ... lots of action, a survival story, and ultimately a revenge tale. Revenant means "one that returns after death or a long absence." Brutal, exhilarating, beautiful ... I really enjoyed it. Green rating, recommended. 

Light at the end of the tunnel?

Light at the end of the tunnel?

Movies Watched -- Girlhood

Added on by C. Maoxian.

In French. 113 minute running time so at least 20 minutes too long. Pretty teenage girl in a heart-of-Africa way (an old Larry David joke), lovely almond-shaped eyes, lives in a housing project outside of Paris, has an abusive older brother who I guess is the adult in the house. She flunks out of school, doesn't want to go to trade school, meets a band of other black girls, joins their "gang." This is depressing so I fast forwarded from 20 minutes in ... not sure what happens in the end, but it's nothing good. It's not that I demand a movie be "happy," but I don't want to wallow in misery voluntarily. Red rating, avoid. 

(Ingkoo Kang wrote that the movie is "largely a grim and stilted study of oppression.")

From the Ivory Coast

From the Ivory Coast

Movies Watched -- The Duke of Burgundy

Added on by C. Maoxian.

106 minute running time so at least 10 minutes too long. Birgitte Nyborg, formerly Prime Minister of Denmark, has become an expert in butterflies. She has a housemaid whom she likes to push around. Actually they are lovers, into some seriously kinky stuff (including being locked in a box). This a W.D. By movie by a foot fetishist who has a thing for lesbians and lace. The Duke of Burgundy is a butterfly, not a character in the movie. Fast forwarded from 20 minutes in, obviously. Richard Brody hated it, and so did I. Red rating, avoid. 

Lock me in The Box, please 

Lock me in The Box, please 

Movies Watched -- White God

Added on by C. Maoxian.

In Hungarian. 117 minute running time so at least 20 to 30 minutes too long. Teenage girl with good Eastern European bones, has to stay with Dad for three months (parents divorced), takes along her dog, a mutt, Dad doesn't want dog, he's kind of a bastard, girl ends up losing dog when father throws it out of car after she smart-mouths him ... dog ends up in hands of dog fighter, scenes of training the dog for dog fights hard to watch ... girl ends up running away from home ... I watched 70! minutes of this before going to fast forward, couldn't take it, too depressing. Not sure how it ended but probably grim. In fact I've never seen a single happy movie from the Eastern Bloc (though my favorite movie in 2006 was The Death of Mr. Lazarescu). Red rating, avoid. 

Wes Morris also didn't think it was the cat's meow ... but he confuses the girl's father with her teacher/conductor (happens when you watch multiple movies a day?)

What happens when you shoot a dog up with drugs, sharpen his teeth, and beat him regularly ... an allegory for the Hungarian people?

What happens when you shoot a dog up with drugs, sharpen his teeth, and beat him regularly ... an allegory for the Hungarian people?

Movies Watched -- The Gift

Added on by C. Maoxian.

108 minute running time so at least eight minutes too long. It wasn't bad, watched without fast forwarding, a thriller, the first thriller I've seen among the 2015 movies (and in a long time), a revenge fantasy really. It's well made. The only reason I hesitate to give it a green rating is because (spoilers) if Bateman had ruined this guy's life, he would have remembered it when they first met again. He would have been less willing to have the creep over for dinner, etc. That part of the story didn't ring true. Also a simple paternity test would tell who the baby's real father is, so Bateman's mind wouldn't be poisoned for long.

Bateman is good at playing a sociopath salesman and Rebecca Hall, who plays his wife, is beautiful. Only a very good looking woman can rock hair that short. A typical yuppie couple from the 80s, now appropriately updated to the Hollywood Hills.  The villain/victim is played by some Australian guy whom I thought was Marky Mark at first (who happens to be the writer-director here, yes, it's a W.D. By movie). There are some horror-movie scare jumps within, so be prepared. Tentatively a yellow but easily upgraded to green when I finish the ~100 movies I'm watching from 2015. 

Look at all that awful statuary!

Look at all that awful statuary!

Movies Watched -- I'll See You In My Dreams

Added on by C. Maoxian.

95 minute running time so within the sacred 100 minute rule, but that doesn't mean I watched it. 

So squarely aimed at upper-middle class white Boomers that it holds no interest for anyone outside that demographic. Stars an attractive widow in her late 60s, hard to say how much plastic surgery she has had, but she looks good for her age. Her dog dies, and she spends lots of time wasting the days away drinking expensive white wine or playing bridge with her widowed buddies.

Meets a handsome dopey bearded poetry major Millennial pool boy whom she is attracted to and bizarrely he is also attracted to her. Would never happen in a million years of course ... anyway, fast forwarding from 20 minutes in because I hate the movie .... she also meets the guy from The Big Lebowski who delivered that great line to The Dude, "Do you have to use so many cuss words?" She drops the pool boy for him.

Then her daughter visits, played by Bobby Flay Axe's Swedish wife from Showtime's Billions, the one who's pretty in that blonde-with-a-pudgy-face way. Old guy dies I guess. Goes back to the pool boy. Who the hell knows, or wants to know what this was all about. Red rating, avoid, unless you are a wealthy Boomer widow living in Southern California who fantasizes about the pool boy or roguish men your age with handlebar mustaches. 

Tasha Robinson got it partly right when she wrote: "the film lacks any visual snap or panache to offset the tonal and narrative blandness. At best, it’s a reasonably sweet, unchallenging character piece that won’t insult older viewers by reflecting them poorly or shallowly." ... It will only insult their intelligence.

I've added the chlorine tabs to the pool, grandma, now let go of me.

I've added the chlorine tabs to the pool, grandma, now let go of me.

Movies Watched -- Güeros

Added on by C. Maoxian.

In Spanish. Black and white. 106 minute running time but I fast forwarded from 20 minutes in ... did not grab me or hold my interest ... artsy shots, set-ups, timing ... I was not in the mood and never would be.  Red rating, avoid.

Mexican Injun with a couple of gueros (light-skinned guys)

Mexican Injun with a couple of gueros (light-skinned guys)

Movies Watched -- Mommy

Added on by C. Maoxian.

In French. 140 minute running time so at least 40 minutes too long. I watched 20 minutes and then fast forwarded to the end. A very attractive middle-aged woman becomes less attractive when she opens her mouth (since she streams obscenities). She looks sort of like a Real Housewife from New Jersey. She has a teenage son who is a delinquent, also foul-mouthed like Mommy. Husband not in the picture (turns out he's dead). Somewhat less attractive middle-aged neighbor woman tries to help care for the troubled boy, I guess. Spoilers: kid tries to kill himself and ends up in the loony bin. I have no idea who could sit through 140 minutes of that, in French. Red rating, avoid.

Awful people taking an awful selfie

Awful people taking an awful selfie

Movies Watched -- Tangerine

Added on by C. Maoxian.

Pleased to announce that I've found the second movie from 2015 that I liked and can recommend: "Tangerine" (Mad Max: Fury Road was the first). You will be in the company of two black transsexual prostitutes for Christmas day (or was it eve?) in Los Angeles, as well as one Armenian cabbie, and a scrawny white prostitute fluent in jive ... and you couldn't be more thrilled! Hilarious, vivacious, touching, and ultimately about the power of friendship, I really enjoyed it. The run time was 88 minutes, which came well within the sacred 100 minute rule. Green rating, recommended!

I'm gonna keep it real with you, it kinda sounded a little old ... I sing myself!

I'm gonna keep it real with you, it kinda sounded a little old ... I sing myself!